1. Others vs. Me
Some people focus too much on others. They keep talking about what “they” have and what “they” did. Often, they feel jealous of other people’s achievements, but never dare to step up and take initiative themselves. They fear not being as “good” or “successful” as the other person. This is a negative attitude. Don’t think others find happiness and success because they are better than you. Let their stories inspire you instead. Standford University psychologist Carol Dweck calls it the “Fixed vs Growth” mindset. The “Fixed” mindset is the person that remains convinced that their life and mindset will never change while the “Growth” mindset expands its horizons and dares to take chances. Everyone can go from fixed to growth the moment you allow yourself to take a chance and move outside your comfort zone.
2. To Don’t Instead of to Do
Surprisingly it has been found that a “To Do” list actually halts your productivity. Instead of a gentle reminder it has been found to be a source of pressure. A lot of people feel anxious when looking at their list halfway through the day and can only tick of one or two finished tasks. The failure often either causes them to give up on the list all together or try to get everything done quickly — neither of which brings you happiness. Stop making those lists. Instead, write down two things you really want to get done before going to bed and focus on those two only. If you do this every day you’ll find that within a month all your projects are running along smoothly.
3. Worry About Others
Many people keep worrying about what others think of them. They never realize that more often than not, people don’t think about them at all. This is caused by “projecting self doubt”: making it seem as if others are negative about you, without realizing that all the negativity comes from you. This is a very difficult one to let go of, but it is possible. The best way to do it is by positive affirmations. Instead of “Oh no, he’s not mailing back, he doesn’t like me!” Think: “Well, he has a busy job, maybe he’ll see my mail later.” If there is no reply after a reasonable time, ask. If you feel self-conscious doing that, you can use this excuse: “My mail isn’t working properly lately. Did you get my last e-mail?” Usually there is a perfectly normal reason for the lack of reply, and you’ve been stressing over nothing.
4. Everything Changes NOW!
Don’t do that: never start all the important changes at once. Take everything one step at a time. If people change their lives in one big go, they often expect the entire world to change along with it. When it doesn’t, there is disappointment and they fall back in their old (bad) habits. Try to make a change every week or month. Begin with something you are certain to keep up and keep adding to your challenge until you are where you want to be.
5. Waiting For “The” Moment
The perfect moment does not exist: we create it. There are no signs that tell us “now.” If we want to do something, or feel we can contribute something, we have to get it going ourselves. Start it up, get people around you to help you along, and get it of the ground. If you don’t do it when the idea forms, either it will never happen or someone else does it and you lose out.
6. Forget About “Monday”
A lot of people think: “Well, I failed to start my plan on Monday, I’ll just wait till next week.” No. Monday is just “a day” a concept created to keep track of time. If you fail on Monday, make it Tuesday or Wednesday. Every day is the right day to start on finding “the new and happy me.” Featured photo credit: Wayne Dery jr via unsplash.com
