1. Have meaningful conversations.
You can’t feel a connection with someone if you can’t really talk to them. Do you feel a strong tie to the neighbor you chit chat about the weather with? It’s doubtful. But if you stopped and learned about their personal life or beliefs, you’d be forging a relationship with them. It’s true—some relationships are casual, and just require small talk. But for the relationships you value, make sure you take time to have a meaningful conversation and really get to know the person.
2. Be present.
When you’re with someone, actually be with them. Be present. Don’t be texting on your phone or paying attention to something going on around you. Focus on who you’re with and what they’re saying. They’ll notice you’re paying attention and reciprocate, which makes the relationship better for both of you.
3. Show you care.
When you’re having these conversations, make sure it’s clear you really care. It’s easy to pretend to listen and nod in the right places, but relationships based on a connection like this will feel hollow and fake. Make sure you’re invested in the person’s life. They’ll be able to tell that you actually care, and you’ll feel more invested and more loving towards them as well.
4. Learn from your problems.
Don’t let a disagreement in a relationship progress into a destructive argument. If you allow your emotions to run wild and let an argument blow up, it could end a relationship. Instead, keep your head level and talk it out so there’s a logical compromise and all parties involved want to continue on with the relationship.
5. Be open to different views of love.
Your partner might show love by doing small chores around the house for you, while you might wish they made grand gestures. Don’t scold them for not showing love the way you want them to show love. Be open to different displays of love. Finding love in smaller gestures will help you see warmth and happiness in more things in life. In no time, you’ll find that you show your love in a variety of ways, too.
6. Give love.
Don’t expect to receive love from everyone if you’re not giving it out in equal measures. The more you show love and kindness to people around you—friends, family, partners, co-workers, even strangers in public—the more love and happiness you’ll get back in return.
7. Pay attention to others’ needs.
If you expect others to do everything for you, you’ll never feel any love. It’s important to sometimes forget about getting your needs met and see what people around you may need. Be kind and charitable to others, and you’ll get it back when you need it most.
8. Change your beliefs about love and the world.
Don’t have a closed mind when it comes to love and the world. If you’re closed off, it will be harder for love to find you. Keep an open mind and an open heart. Love people regardless of what they do or how they look. Holding back love isn’t going to make anyone change for the better; it will just change you for the worse by making you come off as selfish and stingy.
9. Be thankful for those around you.
Once you change your beliefs about love and the world, you’ll discover how easy it is to be thankful for those around you. Everyone you encounter in your everyday life is impacting you in some way, and you should be thankful for them. Appreciate all your co-workers do for you on the job, what your family does at home, what your friends do to make you smile.
10. Love unconditionally.
Don’t love someone just because they’re doing well in school, or putting in long hours at work. Don’t use love as a reward, and don’t take it away as punishment. Love your family and friends the same when they’re having a good day as when they’re having a bad day. If you love unconditionally, you’ll get that love in return and realize how much you really need it.
